It is said that sex between two consenting adults is one of the greatest pleasures in life, and is probably the most intimate way two people can find to spend time together. This ideal is just as true for Lesbians but, as with all things, the right way to go about it needs to be learned first: there are no set rules, few guidebooks, it is all a matter of personal taste, choice of partner and compatibility amongst many other factors. For the newly Out Lesbian the prospect of being with another woman may seem daunting at first, as well as exciting, and coupled with many questions about what is acceptable and what is not, where the boundaries are drawn – if at all – and, above all, what to do. How exactly does a woman have sex with another woman?
There is only way to learn how and that is to have sex with another woman, but even this is not as simple as it may seem. The first time is, for everyone, a time of learning, experiencing, seeing what works and what doesn’t. It can be filled with fumbling, with mistakes, the wrong moves. It can also be an exceptional experience for both, especially when there is a little preparation in advance and the Newly Out Lesbian considers what she enjoys and what her partner may also enjoy. The aim, of course, is for both to achieve orgasm, for both to have pleasure not only in the physical act of sex but in the experience as a whole.
Most women already know their body intimately and have gained experience of sex through the pleasures of masturbation: much of what has been learned about a her own body through personal sexual exploration can be translated easily and effectively into the pleasures of sex with a partner.
There are, however, one or two rules which should be observed from the beginning. The first is: take your time. Good sex is not necessarily reaching an orgasm as quickly as possible, although this can also be a worthy aim in some cases, it is more a prolonged, mutual experience with many shared high points. The Newly Out Lesbian needs to take her time initially in order to learn what her partner enjoys, to learn exactly which parts of her body achieve the best results through which actions. Playing with a partner is completely different to playing alone as each individual has unique feelings and emotions; each reacts in their own way to touch. Begin slowly from the top and work your way through all the possibilities: diving straight down to the crux – so to speak – may be a quick and effective way to achieve orgasm but is hardly likely to be memorable, whereas a long, slow series with mounting pleasure can be considerably more satisfying.
The next is: listen to your partner. Listening is not just hearing noises or waiting for instructions, but watching for the right – or wrong – reactions, reading body language and measuring results carefully. At the same time, the Newly Out Lesbian shouldn’t be shy in her actions and exploration but still, to a certain extent, reserved and careful. Sex is an experience filled with new emotions, feelings and results; it is rare that two people have exactly the same desires as one another or the same expectations. Use everything at your disposal to find the right means, from gentle kissing through use of your tongue, your fingers, your entire body. Touch and contact are just as important as movement.
Finally: enjoy the experience. There is nothing so off-putting as a partner who is not relaxed, who doesn’t put all other thoughts out of her head and concentrate on both creating and receiving pleasure through sex. Remember, sex is a mutual pleasure which both partners should enjoy and not simply a means of gaining personal satisfaction at the cost or to the detriment of the other.